Ever have days where you didn’t want to get out of bed, you just wanted to sleep until the bad stuff went away? Ever have days when you thought you couldn’t bear to face the world, put on a brave face, and go through your normal routine? I know you have. Everyone has stuff to deal with that gets them down now and again.
Like you, I don’t sweat the small stuff. Recent personal issues–BIG, BAD stuff–have gotten me down though. Boy, have I sweated it, and I’ve struggled to move forward. Hell, I’ll admit it. I’m still struggling. Thanks to a colleague of mine, though, I have a strategy to navigate the unknowns these coming days and months. (And no, this is one case where a margarita isn’t the answer.)
This friend knew, without me telling her, that I was at my wit’s end. She knew, without me telling her, that I needed someone to talk to, but I didn’t want to share my burden. She insisted we go out to lunch, get away from everything, and talk. Poor thing didn’t know what she was in for, because as soon as we got in her car that afternoon, I spilled. Everything. Then she shared such simple, yet profound advice I knew I’d have to share it with you: Don’t project. These two words gave me hope that I will be the person I need and want to be for my family, and for me.
Now, you may have heard about the importance of not projecting your feelings or problems onto others, but apparently this phrase means something else entirely. It’s more along the lines of Carpe Diem, or Live for Today. If you are a regular reader of Margaria Moments, you know I’m a huge believer in taking time out of your hectic schedule to enjoy a moment for yourself.
Seems so simple, doesn’t it? It is, and it isn’t. When the Big Bad Stuff has you scared out of your mind about your financial security, or a loved one’s health, or your child’s safety, you can easily go down the Path of Negativity. Don’t do it. Don’t go there. Take it one moment, one day at a time. In other words, don’t project. Don’t worry about the what-ifs in your future. I’m famous, or infamous perhaps, for always saying, “Anything can happen to anyone at any time. Enjoy and treasure everyone in your life.” Now, I’m not saying to ignore planning for the future with a sound retirement strategy, or forego researching a medical diagnosis needing treatment, or not ensuring your child has the best caregivers and education available. What I’m saying is plan for the areas of your life you can control, and do your damnedest not to worry about what you can’t.
Live for today. Each day. Be the best person you can be, make the best decisions you can with the knowledge you have, and be present–in your life and that of your loved ones.
Since that lunch conversation, my home life has been more peaceful and joyful than it has in many weeks. I hadn’t realized how much my anxiety was affecting my family, how it took me away from them emotionally. I’m so grateful for the change, and grateful that someone took the time to reach out to me in my time of need. I only hope to be the positive difference for others as this friend was for me.
One of my favorite guilty pleasures is watching romantic comedies. Today I watched, “While You Were Sleeping” for the umpteenth time. I thought you may enjoy this part, where Jack (played by Bill Pullman) demonstrates to Lucy (played by Sandra Bullock) a lesson about body language (It’s the first minute of this ten-minute clip):
If you haven’t seen this movie yet, or it’s been awhile, it’s a great holiday flick to watch with your girlfriends or for an at-home date night. Wishing you a happy holiday season, and hoping you’ll stop by next Monday for a Key West post.
What are you thankful for or how has another person’s kindness changed your outlook on life?